Toxic People

Mark Goulston, MD writes:

A toxic person...

1. Interrupts.

2. Doesn’t take turns.

3. Takes advantage of people who are down.

4. Gloats in victory.

5. Is sullen in defeat.

6. Is not fair.

7. Lacks integrity.

8. Is the kind of person you’ll avoid if you possibly can.

Three good responses to nearly every type of toxic person...

"Huh?" This one word can stop a jerk in his tracks. Use a mild, neutral tone of voice. Do this when the toxic person says something utterly ridiculous but acts as if he is being perfectly reasonable. This response conveys that what the toxic person is saying doesn’t make sense. It works because it signals that you are not engaging with the content of what he said.

"Do you really believe what you just said?" Use a calm, straightforward tone, not a confrontational one. This question works because toxic people often resort to hyperbole to throw others off balance. They are prone to using the words "always" and "never" to drive home their points. However, don’t expect the toxic person to admit that he is wrong. He is more likely to walk away in a huff -- which is fine because then you won’t have to waste more energy dealing with him.

"I can see how this is good for you. Tell me how it’s good for me." This response is a useful way to deal with a toxic person’s demands. If he stalls or changes the subject, you can say, "Since it’s not clear how this is good for me, I’m going to have to say no."

Look to the Past

Have you heard the quote by George Santayana that states, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it".  In project management, we need to remember that historical data from old projects is our best source of data when planning new projects.  This data can help you to reduce negative risk and increases your odds for project success.
When planning new projects:

Review your companies past project files for information regarding past resource estimates, lessons learned, budget data, risks, assumptions, etc...

Conduct interviews with select project team members from past projects to understand what went right and what went wrong.

Interview customers and other project managers for lessons learned from their past projects.

Do searches on the Internet about similar projects to gather information which might assist in planning your project.

Most importantly, use risk management during the planning cycle to identify issues that could cost you later on.

Finally, do not fall victim to the project manager's curse of not learning from the past.  Remember the old saying, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"

My Project Management Rules (revisited, reworked, repost)

Remove people from your team that don’t ask questions, don’t talk with other team members, won’t provide documentation, or won’t do analysis

Only people that aren’t competent won’t show off their work

Question authority or live with the result

A sense of humor can help get teams through tough times

A working meeting should have no more than five people. Meetings with more than five should be reserved for providing updates or relaying information

Project failure is planned at the beginning of the project

Project initiation is the most important project phase

Be honest in all your dealings

Project managers are expected to offer their opinions, but be accountable for their words

When it comes to project scope, what is not in writing has not been said

Have verifiable milestones

End of project surveys must be completed and the results distributed to the team

Bad conclusions lead to more bad conclusions

Documented assumptions are believed to be true for planning purposes

The best lessons learned come from failures

Without data you only have an opinion

Data doesn’t tell the whole story

Bad data leads to bad decisions

Senior management is usually clueless when it comes to what your project is all about

A bad project team will never deliver good project results

If your project sponsor isn’t responsive you should put your project on-hold until such time they can become involved

The bottleneck is at the top of the bottle

A project manager’s main job is to keep the customer happy

At the end of a project if you have met all scope, quality, budget, and schedule objectives, but the customer isn’t satisfied your project is a failure

Documentation doesn’t replace knowledge

Most people want to do good work. Many times they don’t have the tools or information they need to perform well, or they aren’t managed properly

Project managers aren’t successful if their team members aren’t successful

Not all successful project managers are competent and not all unsuccessful project managers are incompetent. Sometimes you just have to be lucky

Good project managers are insecure by nature

An introvert can’t be a (successful) project manager

A project manager with lots of enemies won’t be able to be successful over the long run

You must be a relationship guru and be ready to fall on the sword sometimes

A project manager must be a motivator

If you don’t listen, you can’t plan

Project managers deal with change. You must be the change agent for your project. Your project sponsor is the change salesman

Another Wisdom Equation

In project management (sometimes in life)...

Knowledge + Experience + Meaningful Relationships + Passion + Integrity = Wisdom

...should also equal Success!

Rewards and Punishment

The quotes below are from Tom Peters.  They are relevant, important and meaninful to all project managers.  Check out his website for lots of free content, and for information about ordering his books. 

In any public-sector business, you must become an avid student of "the politics," the incentives and constraints, mostly non-economic, facing all of the players. Politicians are usually incredibly logical if you (deeply!) understand the matrix in which they exist.

Risk Assessment & Risk Management is more about stories than advanced math i.e., brilliant scenario construction.

Don't waste your time on jerks, it'll rarely work out in the mid to long-term.

Under promise (i.e., don't over-promise; i.e., cut yourself a little slack) even if it costs you business; winning is a long-term affair. Over-promising is Sign #1 of a lack of integrity. You will pay the piper.

There is such a thing as a "good loss", if you have tested something new and developed good relationships. A half-dozen honorable, ingenious losses over a two-year period can pave the way for a Big Victory in a New Space in year 3.

Keep it simple! (Damn it!) No matter how "sophisticated" the product. If you can't explain it in a phrase, a page, or to your 14-year-old ... you haven't got it right yet.

Don't hold grudges. (It is the ultimate in small mindedness, and incredibly wasteful and ineffective. There is always tomorrow.)

Little People often have Big Friends!

Work hard beats work smart. (Mostly)

Phones beat email

Obsess on ROIR (Return On Investment In Relationships).

Scoring off other people is stupid. Winners are always in the business of creating the maximum # of winners among adversaries at least as much as among partners.

Your colleagues' successes are your successes. Period.

Lend a helping hand, especially when you don't have the time.

Don't get too hung up on "systems integration", first & foremost, the individual bits have got to work.

For Gods sake don't over promise on systems integration it's nigh on impossible to deliver.

It's Relationships, Stupid; Deep and from multiple functions.

Don't over-schedule. Running late is inexcusable at any level of seniority; it is the ultimate mark of self-importance mixed with contempt.

"Preparing the soil" is the first 98 percent. (Or more.)

Be kind. It works.

Opportunism (with a little forethought) mostly wins.

Reward excellent failures. Punish mediocre successes.

Integrity. Credibility. Humanity. Grace.

Strategic planning is the last refuge of scoundrels

Focus groups are counter-productive

All information making it to the top is filtered to the point of danger and hilarity

Success stories are the illusions of egomaniacs (and "gurus")

If you believe the "cause & effect" memoirs of CEOs, you should be institutionalized

Top teams" are "Dittoheads"

"Expert" prediction is rarely better than rolling the dice

Statistically, CEOs have little effect on performance

Success kills

All Projects Are Unique

All Projects are unique.  Because they are unique, the risks are often great and failure to deliver "on time" is always an option.  Minimize the risks by informing your sponsor that until you are finished with your initial project planning activities you may not be able to provide realistic budget and time estimates.  Once you have completed your initial project planning activities, (project planning is continuous) provide your sponsor with an estimated budget and time range, and remind him or her that as planning progresses these ranges may be adjusted to closer reflect reality.

Doubt and the Door

‎"Doubt comes in at the window when inquiry is denied at the door.". Benjamin Jowett

What are you denying?

Estimating Laws

Found over at the very good Project Connections website


1. Everything takes longer than you think (sometimes a lot longer)


2. Thinking about everything takes longer than you think


3. Project Managing and leading a project team is a FULL TIME job, and then some


4. Software Engineers are always optimistic (generally REALLY optimistic)


5. Schedules are (almost) always wrong


6. If you under-estimated an early task when you wrote the WBS (schedule), you probably under-estimated middle and later tasks. Revisit the later phases of the schedule as early as possible when you discover early phase schedule (estimate) errors


7. Business types (upper management) REALLY do use your estimates for planning. For example, head count, money, customer deliverables, shipping dates, ordering materials, scheduling manufacturing lines, advertising timing, etc. Be able to express your level of confidence on various estimates when you provide them to others


8. Initially, a good schedule estimate is 80% confidence for near term deliverables, 60-80% for long-term deliverables. Revisit the schedule and revise your estimates after the Initiation Phase (Kickoff) and again after the Design Phase to improve on these early confidence levels


9. Don’t let yourself be bullied into committing to something you cannot achieve


10. Don’t bully someone else into committing to something they cannot achieve


11. Notify “Need To Know” people AS SOON AS POSSIBLE if there is a significant problem or potential problem in meeting the schedule. Remember that there was a certain degree of optimism in the schedule originally. Note: It's an art to not over-do this


12. Let team members know that you, the project manager, expect early notification of schedule problems as a courtesy. You decide on the severity or risk of the problem and its impact to the schedule, what actions to take, and what contingencies are appropriate


13. Most people’s estimating skills improve with experience; some don’t


14. Learn your own estimating flaws and compensate for them. Then learn the flaws in your new estimations and compensate for them. Repeat continuously while employed as a project manager


15. Learn others' estimating flaws and learn to compensate for them. Mentor them on improving their flaws and then compensate for their improvements. Repeat continuously while they are on your project team


16. In some environments, some people are hedging their estimates, some people are expecting them to hedge the estimates and some people are doing neither. It’s an interesting problem to get all of them to stop this behavior and have people give honest, best-effort estimates. Laws 14 and 15 are useful for dealing with this variability while you are working to get your team members to be more honest with you. Laws 13-16 are part of the "people aspects" of the project management job - like it or not, we have to deal with these "real world effects" on the projects we manage


17. Be wary of anyone who wants 100% confidence in an estimate. 90% confidence is an exceptional human achievement for any complex task, even with extremely good data


18. Look up the word “estimate” in the dictionary. You may find it useful in a meeting

Projects as Art

"A great piece of art is composed not just of what is in the final piece, but equally important, what is not.  It is the discipline to discard what does not fit - to cut out what might have already cost days or even years of effort that distiguishes the truly exceptional artist and marks the ideal piece of work, be it a symphony, a novel, a painting, a company or, most important of all, a life"

Author Unknown

Awesome Life Tips

Various Quotes by By Bruce Lee

“Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.”

“Absorb what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your own.”

“Simplicity is the key to brilliance.”

“Using no way as way, using no limitation as limitation.”

“Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against.”

“Real living is living for others.”

“If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.”

“Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.”

“A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.”

“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.”

“All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.”

“As you think, so shall you become.”

“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”

“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”

“Knowledge will give you power, but character respect”

“Obey the principles without being bound by them.”

“Showing off is the fool’s idea of glory.”

“You just wait. I’m going to be the biggest Chinese Star in the world.”

The Power of Words

Very inspiring short video... Well worth two minutes of your time...

Click Here to View Video

Good Listening Tips

Stop Talking!

Put the talker at ease

Show him/her that you want to listen

Remove distractions from your behavior

Empathize

Be patient

Hold your temper

Try not to argue or criticize.  Don't evaluate, just listen

Ask questions

Summarize occasionally to confirm understanding

Manage Expectations to Succeed

In the project management world there are many differing opinions regarding how to successfully manage a project. One of the most important things project managers must do is to manage the expectations and relationships with our stakeholders.

Some things to keep in mind to help us manage our relationships better are:

• Take the time to assess the culture (Is it supportive, what is the balance of power, what are the stakeholder attitudes)
• Identify and formally document the goals of the stakeholders and sponsor (Are the goals realistic, attainable, communicated)
• Assess our own capabilities and limitations (Are you politically savvy, respected, a good negotiator)
• Define the problem(s) the project will be solving (Define objectives, risks, relationships)
• Develop solutions (Create action plan, determine the right solution for the right time)
• Test and refine the solutions (New learnings must be incorporated, replan, retool, rethink)
• Develop communication plans to ensure expectations are managed 

Successful Project Managers Have...

Have recognized leadership traits

Be a great communicator

Have a sense of humor (often)

Have integrity

Be driven to succeed

Have great project management skills

Be disciplined

Be able to think strategically

Be a good listener (active listening)

Be compassionate

Make good decisions

How does a new project manager obtain and hone these skills?  My quick answer is a blend of education, experience, on-the-job training, mentoring, and a continuous feedback loop.  In order to move from good to great we must work to improve our skills and focus on our strengths; however, we must also identify and minimize or eliminate our weaknesses. 

Finally, great project managers like working with people. They like challenges, they have an even temperament, and they are a motivating influence to those around them.  Good PMs don’t just plan and delegate, they get involved and become part of the team. 

Wisdom and Projects

Albert Einstein said "A clever person solves a problem; a wise person avoids it". After reading this quote, it reminded me that project managers spend a lot of time (or should be) avoiding problems. One thing that can help project managers avoid problems is to follow a Project Management Methodology (PMM). A PMM is a set of agreed-upon processes that assists project managers and  teams to deliver predictable project outcomes.

To create a customized PMM for your organization you need to define all applicable project management processes, procedures and policies used to deliver your organization's projects. Also, don't forget to develop or obtain a set of project templates as they are an important part of any PMM.  Finally, you need to develop a training program to introduce and educate your organization about the new PMM.

Once your PMM is implemented ensure you measure the results and make adjustments where necessary. If you need help in developing your PMM there are many companies that can assist you and your organization.

Organizational Best Practices for Project Management

A good reference book about Project Management is “The Portable MBA in Project Management by Eric Verzuh”. In the book Eric sites a major study that was conducted around what Project Management Best Practices look like in a typical large organization. Perhaps we can learn a few things by looking at the results.

Formal (agreed-upon) Project Management Structure

Companies that successfully implement and use project management have a formal structure in place. These organizations have repeatable project management processes, and executives of the company are engaged and accountable for the success of project management and the project’s that they sponsor.

A Repeat Project Management Process

Repeatable processes that are aligned to PMBOK (Project Management Body of Knowledge) Guide’s Nine Knowledge areas have been shown to increase the probability of project success.

Alignment of Projects to the Organizations Strategy

Projects that aren’t aligned will probably not be given a high priority (or proper support) within the organization. Projects that are aligned will have an executive sponsor that is engaged and measured against the project’s success.

Use of Tools

Project Managers need tools to do their job just like any other profession. The tools can be project management software, templates, and other items. The tools need to be closely aligned around the organization’s project management processes.

Experienced Project Managers

This was found to be the single most important success factor in the companies studied. The skills that successful project managers exhibit were:

Experience in Project Management
Ability to see the big picture
Excellent communications skills (verbal and written)
Willingness to do what it takes
Leadership and organizational skills
Problem solving skills
Collaborative and cooperative
Positive Attitude




The book is a great Project Management reference, is well written, and contains a wealth of information that will help you to be a better project manager.

Being on Time

My dad always stressed to me the importance of being on time.  It is unfair and rude to others to consistently be late to meetings, appointments, and get togethers.  There is a good article by Tim Sanders over on his website entitled "Early Is The New On-Time".

In the article Tim's says -  (Click here for link to full article)

"Promise made, promise kept - That's a principle I hold dear. 
This was taught to me early in life by my grandmom, who raised me.  She believed that we should keep our promises for ourselves (self-image) as well as for others (politeness, reputation).  In her day, it was a basic measure of integrity, whether you are keeping a promise as an individual, a city or even a nation.
Unfortunately, when it comes to being on time or on schedule, we live in a nation of tardies.  This is profoundly true in the technology and creative community.

When I worked at Yahoo, the parking garage was almost empty until around 9:30, then it gradually filled up - and stayed full well past 6pm.  Meetings never started on time, as most participants filed in fashionably late.  When seasoned execs joined the company (after the dotcom bust), they were horrified by this cultural practice...wondering how people could get-stuff-done in such a slack environment. 

Worse, the advent of the mobile phone has enabled anyone to run late, so long as they call (or text) to say they are "stuck in traffic/meeting/etc."  In the old days, you didn't like to be late because of the stress of the unknown, but now that your manager can say, "It's OK, take your time," then why run on time? 

This mentality has bled into enterprise level tardiness: Product launches and project implementations that run late or are re-scheduled at the first sign of complication.  Over the last decade, it's culminated into a late-running nation of professionals that can't be depended on to be on time."

(Click here for link to full article)

Planning Steps for Dummies

One of the biggest reasons projects fail is because groups/organizations use an adhoc or random non-repeatable method to plan the work. Minor issues and details are overlooked in the “planning” phase that can turn into major problems down the road. It happens all the time. Combine the normal corporate bad communication with worker incompetency, mix in some management apathy, and you are setting yourself for disaster.

Poor planning, organizational miscommunication, and employee/employer errors mixed with a lack of training can be expensive and sometimes catastrophic (Think NASA).

What can be done? How about applying some basic project management processes to the work? Below are some very simple steps to get started. There are many more to consider depending on the size of your project, but we must realize that some organizations need to move away from today’s chaos and get back to basics right away.

Four Simple Steps

STEP 1 - Divide the work down into tasks that must be completed. Then continue to break the tasks down into smaller tasks. No task should take more than a day (two at most).

One reason that projects are delivered late is because project managers aren’t breaking down the work into smaller and smaller tasks (decomposition). Small tasks are easier to estimate and manage. Remember, good estimates are the foundation of on-time, on-budget projects.

STEP 2 - Sequence your tasks by dependency

If you don’t establish your dependencies you don’t have a timeline since dependencies help establish duration.

STEP 3 - Verifiable Milestones

What pieces of the project will you deliver and when. Remember the old saying, “you can’t manage what you can’t measure”.

STEP 4 - Assign tasks to people not groups

Get everything on paper. Remember my favorite project management rule “what is not in writing has not been said”. Also, ensure everyone understands their role and responsibilities. No matter what you do there will always be somebody that can’t follow instructions or refuses to fall in line. These people need to be brought into line or moved off the project quickly.

Miscommunication is fatal to projects. Always communicate in multiple ways; – face-to-face, team meetings, status reports, e-mail (as a last resort). Monitor progress, give feedback continuously, and document, document, document.

Time Wasted

As project managers we are very focused on time. As time passes, we often find that our project and personal objectives aren’t being achieved. We look back at our project or personal goals and see ways we could have done things differently that would have saved us time. We agonize over the loss of time, and look for ways to do more with less, or look to find additional resources to help make up for the lack of time.

A while back I was sent a link to a website that brings the topic of time to the forefront. It has significant meaning, especially when applied to our personal lives. Be sure you have your sound turned up on your device and give the link a try.

Check out the site at: The Time Movie

The Art of Life and Project Management

"The art of life lies in a constant readjustment of our surroundings.” - Kakuzo Okakura .....


"The art of project management lies in the constant readjustment to changing conditions" - Author Unknown .....