What are you saying?

As project managers, it is important that we communicate in a way that inspires and motivates others. What you say, and more importantly how you say it through your body language can help or hurt you in ways you may not fully understand.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Project managers will fail if they can not communicate effectively.

Some questions to consider are:

How are our words and especially our body language interpreted by others?

How will we know if our message is accepted?

What are the things we need to be aware of in regards to our body language when communicating with others?

It is said that there are eight subconscious impressions that people make about you within the first ten seconds of meeting you. They are:

How smart you are

Your education level

Your trustworthiness

Your personality style

Your self-confidence

Your work ethic

How dependability

Your level of income

How can somebody do that? Isn't this unfair? You do it, but may not realize it. Just think about someone you have met recently and see if you have formulated opinions around the eight statements listed above.

To help you avoid some negative sterotypes when meeting others, here are some tips:

Stand up straight and hold your head up high – You will look and feel confident

Walk confidently and with a purpose

Keep your hands where people can see them (not in your pockets)

Shake hands confidently, but with sincerity

Have enthusiasm

Smile strategically – Try smiling slowly as you shake their hand

Most importantly, maintain eye contact for 3-5 seconds

When meeting people show a genuine interest in them, and remember over half your communication is sent via your body language. Also, project managers need to instill confidence and inspire others in order to be effective.

What does your body language say about you?

Project Management and the Circle of Concern

Project managers make mistakes. If you are a project manager and don't make mistakes then you are either lying to yourself or you are totally ineffective. Dr. Covey talks about two things we need to consider regarding what he calls our "Circle of Concern". As project managers it is critical that we embrace and understand these concepts which are, consequences and mistakes.

As Dr. Covey states, "While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequence of those actions. Consequences are governed by natural law. They are out in the Circle of Concern. We can decide to step in front of a fast-moving train (project selection), be we cannot decide what will happen when the train hits us".

To take this further, Dr. Covey says, "We can decide to be dishonest in our business dealings. While the social consequences of that decision may vary depending on whether or not we are found out, the natural consequences to our basic character are a fixed result."

"Our behavior is governed by principles. Living in harmony with them brings positive consequences: violating them brings negative consequences. We are free to choose our response in any situation, but in doing so we choose the attendant consequence. When we pick up one in of the stick, we pick up the other".

What does this mean? As project managers we have the capability to motivate and empower members of our team by being honest and ethical. We also can send our projects quickly off-track if we are dishonest in our dealings.

To quote Dr. Covey again, "Our response to mistakes affects the quality of our next moment. It is important to immediately admit and correct our mistakes so that they have no power over that next moment and we are empowered again. It is not what others do or even our mistakes that hurt us the most; it is our response to those things".

We all make mistakes. We must atone for and make amends for those mistakes quickly. In my opinion, our unwillingness to admit our mistakes is the biggest obstacle to personal growth and strong relationships. The Circle of Influence is all about our capability to make and keep our promises. Keeping our promises and commitments is a core value of integrity.

As Dr. Convey says, "By making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater then our moods.

Have high integrity and make and keep promises, and your projects (and your life) will be the better for it.

The Circle of Influence and the Project Manager

(Exerpts from Habit 1: Be Proactive, in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey)

I'm a big fan of Dr. Stephen Covey. His book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a must read for anyone seeking to be highly effective. One of the concepts Dr. Covey talks about in his books is the "Circle of Concern" and the "Circle of Influence". The basic concept is that we need to focus our time and energy on the important things that we can control. Inside the Circle of Concern there is a smaller circle in the middle called the Circle of Influence. We should spend most of our time and efforts focused on the things in this Circle of Influence.

As Dr. Covey states "proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging and magnifying, causing their Circle of Influence to increase." "Reactive people on the other hand, focus their efforts in the "Circle of Concern. They focus on the weakness of other people, the problems in the environment, and circumstances over which they have no control. Their focus results in blaming and accusing attitudes, reactive language, and increased feelings of victimization. The negative energy generated by that focus, combined with neglect in areas they could do something about, causes their Circle of Influence to shrink."

Key point – Focus on important things that you can control. Work to enlarge your Circle of Influence and you will automatically reduce the Circle of Concerns area.

Dr. Covey goes on to say:
One way to notice where our energy and focus is located is to distinguish between the have's and the be's. The Circle of Concern is filled with the have's:
· 'I'll be happy when I have my house paid off.'
· 'If only I had a more patient spouse...'
· 'If only I had better employees/co-workers...'
· 'If only I had a boss who wasn't so demanding...'

The Circle of Influence is filled with the be's:
· 'I can be more patient...'
· 'I can be a better employee...'
· 'I can be more wise...'

It's a character focus. Any time we think the problem is 'out there,' that thought is the problem. We empower what's out there to control us. The change paradigm is 'outside-in'--what's out there has to change before we can change.
The proactive approach is to change from the inside-out; to be different, and by being different to effect positive change in what's out there--I can be more resourceful, I can be more diligent, I can be a better listener, I can be a better leader.

Buy Dr. Stephen Covey's book or check it out from your local library. It is one of the best books you will ever read.