Listening is Hard!

Listening is hard because it involves keeping your ego constrained long enough to consider what is being said before formulating your response.

Wisdom often lies in the pause between stimulus and response.

Few people listen well, which makes good listeners all the more relevant and important.

When someone starts talking, our focus should be:

1. Listening intentionally to what they are saying

2. Ignoring patterns in their speech and forming conclusions 

3. Putting said about whether we agree with what they are saying until they have finished   speaking

When we quickly prepare responses as a listener the conversation becomes about us. When the other person does the same meaningful communication ceases to occur.

Rather than making the conversation about you, work to understand the other person's perspective. You don't have to agree with them, but you owe it to them to be respectful and open minded.  

Remember and put to use one of Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits - Seek first to understand then be understood.

We should make it a habit to seek understanding with one another.  A conversation is not a competition to make a point, but rather an exploration of each others thoughts, emotions, and beliefs, and biases.

Your Last Project

It has been said “You only live as long as the last person that remembers you”.

In Project Management it has been said that “You are only as good as your last project”.  While this statement may see unfair, it is nonetheless true in many environments.

Be, Say, and Do!

 

Three action steps when working with others, per Ajayi Jones

1. Be: Write down what’s important to you, and what’s worth fighting for. 

2. Say: When you don’t see eye to eye with your boss or disagree with the rest of the room, ask yourself these three questions. If you answer “Yes” to all three, speak up.

• “Do I mean it?” 

• “Can I defend it?”

• “Can I say it thoughtfully?

3. Do: Match your thoughts with your actions. 

Fair warning: Just because you follow these steps, it doesn’t mean your team will automatically be on the same page. It’s more that these practices force you to check in with yourself, and know that you said what you needed to say. 

You’ll leave the discussion knowing you tried.